Invader Dib
by Lord Sergeant Sarcasm
Summary: The Invader Zim world is switched around. Everyone one is playing a different part and role. Dib now invading Irk and Zim being the weirdest kid in class. What will hapen in this retelling of everyones favorite show? Not even I know, lets just wait and see.
1. It Begins

"Attention!" A loud disembodied voice yelled. "Attention citizens! Please gather into the big convention meeting room!" The voice kept saying pleasantries and things to try and provoke the citizens into seeing what was going on. Soon the room was filled, every seat was taken. Filled with the large, lard filled bodies of the humans. They sat around a gigantic stage with a single podium everyone waited in suspense; they had NO idea about what was going on, but the voice had said that they'd get free food afterwards, so they came anyway.

Suddenly the lights deemed, causing a surprised gasp to escape many. The voice came back ten times louder, "Hello Citizens! Give a grand greeting to the man ,who if wasn't here SUREly the Earth would have stopped spinning, Professor Membrane!" The crowd went wild, some even foaming at the mouth with excitement! Membrane! The Membrane was going to be standing in front of them all! Yay!

The lights came back on and poof, there he was! Just standing there waving, he might have been smiling but he coat covered his mouth. The crowd was wild again. Membrane brow creased, he looked unpleased, "Quiet please!" He loud voice demanding attention from all. The crowd silenced, you could have heard a pin drop. "I have gathered you here today because!" He broke off when someone coughed in the crowded, "Someone get that man out of here!" He pointed to the old guy who had coughed. Guards came to drag him away, he went screaming. Membrane went on like nothing happened, "I have gathered you here because as you may all know a couple days ago we invented space travel!" More cheers and woos, "Yes, yes thank you. As I was say we invented it and know I think we should test it out some." More cheers, "And my OWN son has volunteered." Membrane waved his hand and a light flickered on, it revealed a seat. And a young man sat on that seat. And oh how he sat! He sat like a **(-wait, you don't want me to describe how well he sat, but what he looked like instead? Well his sitting was spectacular but as they say give the people what they want-) **So a young man sat there, he was wearing a long black coat, a dark blue shirt with a bored face on it and he wore some combat boots. His hair was dark as a raven, eyes as bright as the moon and he wore a pair of round glasses. **(-happy?)** He stood and waved to the people before walking up to his father figure. Membrane moved out of the way and let his son speak.

"Hey!" He spoke in a much softer voice than his father, "I am Dib Membrane! And I am glad and honored to be taking the place of a monkey!" He said with a hard smile before going back to sit down. He was very displease, he was hoping his dad would send him somewhere, where there was the likeness of finding life. But NO he was just sending him to a moon around some other planet. Whatever at least he was going into space, hopefully he would live. Dib was happy but he just didn't feel safe. He WAS taking the place of a monkey. Hes pretty sure his dad just wants him off Earth, because with space travel comes the fear of aliens (for the stupids anyway) and Dib was always going on about aliens! Didn't want the public to get any crazy ideas...

Membrane said a few more things, ever word causing the people to drool and cheer. After, he and Dib were led of the stage and pushed into a vehicle. They travel towards the ships launch pad and when they arrived, Dib and Membrane were separated. Dib was led to an area where he was dressed, fed and medicated. Soon he was pushed into a large chair and told to buckle up. He was confused, were they really just sending him into space like this? This was the weirdest procedure ever, they never did this in the videos they showed him...

Then it hit Dib. They were using him! They never set a ship out before! They were just going to try and set it off, but what if it exploded? What if it didn't? Thats what he was there for, Dib came to the grim conclusion. He frowned and buckled up. No turning back, he heard the door lock when they closed it. He sat for a few but then he felt surge. He closed his eyes and felt the ship take off. He sat like that few a few minuets, eye closed and tense. Soon he felt his stomach float, his eye snapped open. He was in space! He let out a gasp of shock, it was beautiful! He grabbed the controls, they were locked. Dib frowned, were they really hoping the ship would explode? Dib sighed great now he was free floating in space! Dib paused in his mental ranting and grinned. They had trained him...

A few months lated Dib had complete control of the ship, maps, weapons, GPS; all his. He sighed in relief. NOW! To see where he is. Dib began pushing buttons and pulling levers till the ship beeped. He spoke, "SHIP?"

"Yes?" The ship spoke in a feminine robotic voice.

"Where am I?"

"In a ship." Dib frowned, the ship must be glitched. She's too sarcastic. Dib pressed a button the ship squeaked, "Okay fine. I was just playing. Sheesh..." Dib could just imagine the ship rolling her eyes. "Okay you're near the planet IRK. Theorized to have intelligent life, but never proved." The Ship told Dib. Dib smiled, so he would get to do something he wanted. He ordered the ship to do a scan. "Oh wow!" Ship gasped.

"What?" Dib asked, a little worried.

"This...This planet is full of life! It even got TVs!" Dib had no idea how the ship knew that but he was still excited.

"What kind of life?" He asked, practically jumping in excitement like a little kid at christmas.

"Mmm... Hostile. They seem to be a military based planet. The creatures are humanoid like but have green skin and feelers, no hair of any kind. Approach with EXTREME caution, Sir." The ship sounded really worried, Dib was still smiling though.

"Can you bring an image up on screen?" The ship did, and Dib was blown away. The aliens were amazing! The ship didn't exaggerate about the features. No hair, green skin. "Lets make a disguise. I want to land here for a while." Dib said a casual tone, but was still grinning ear to ear.

"WHAT? Sir you can't-" Dib held out his hand.

"Whos the captain here?" He asked.

"You are... Sir." The Ship would have grinded her teeth if she had any. Dib smiled again and he and the ship work on his disguise.

_**[-**__**]**_

Soon Dib was fully disguised. He had to shave his head, but he left his scythe like hair structure, it looked almost like one of their feeler thingies. Also the ship made him take some pill that made his skin look a little green, but not by a lot. He ordered the ship to land in the most secluded area. She landed in what seemed to be a neighborhood. Dib looked around for a minute. "Uh, Ship? Could you try to disguise yourself as well?" The ships lights blinked and before his very eyes the ship transformed into a small housing unit, like the ones around him. Dib smiled, "Thanks." And he walked into the new building. Ones inside Dib asked the ship-house a bunch of other questions, she was getting really annoyed. His voice was scraping against her sensors like sand paper! She finally snapped.

"Why don't you go to the Academy and learn this junk yourself!" She yelled. There was an awkward pause of silence. After Dib spoke up, another question.

"What's the academy?" He ask, truly interested. The house sighed.

"It like on of the humans schools. Young-Adult Irkens learn there until they are given orders to do otherwise." Dib tapped his chin in thought. It sounded really cool, but...

"Will I be safe?"

"Probably, but if anyone asks- you lost your other antenna in some horrible accident you don't like to talk about and you have a skin condition. Truthfully I don't think anyone will care." Dib grinned, this was gonna be so AWESOME!


	2. The Crazy Meeting

"Invade. Conquer. Destroy." A learn Irken droned, he kept saying the lines over and OVER. The younger Irkens in the room stared straight ahead, probably a little brain dead right about now. The few that could were sleeping with there eyes open, while others were forced to find ways to stay awake. Suddenly an alarm came on, the Irkens jumped in their chairs; someone screamed and another fainted. The teacher stopped his lecture and picked up a communication device that was one his desk. "Yes? What? But I don't want another- Fine okay, whatever." He put the thing down and addressed his class with a sigh. "Seems I'm getting another one of you. Hopefully he is not as disappointing..." The door busted open and a very pale Irken walked into the room. He had weird circles on his eyes and had only one anntena. The Irken walked up to the units desk and handed him a note. The teaching unit blinked in surprise then became bored; great he got some weird Irk. "Hello," The teacher look at the paper, "Dib." Sigh, "Just take a seat." Dib nodded and sat at the front were the only empty seat was. The teaching unit started up again, "Invader. Conquer. Destroy." Dib listen but he felt eyes on him, he look across the room. A male Irken was watching him, eye twitching. The Irken growled and stood up on his desk.

"Does any else see the intruder sitting _RIGHT THERE_? Huh? Huh?" He asked loudly. The class groaned. Dib just sat stiff, not knowing what to do. He slowly got up to run but a girl spoke up causing him to sit back down.

"Oh come on Zim. No one would sneak into a school, thats crazy! Your defective!" She said rolling her eyes. Zim shook his fist at her with another growl.

"Zim's not DEFECTIVE. Just _LOOK_ at him!" He pointed to Dib. Dib could feel everyone staring at him, he felt sweat go down his back. "He has only one antenna and has weird holes all over his head!" Zim waved his arms frantically trying to proved a point.

"He does have holes..." A boy said.

"And one antenna..." Said another. Dib looked down a his hands, the ship-house's explanation on his mind.

"I have a skin condition." He said pitifully with a frown. A girl behind him frowned, feeling almost bad for the new kid

"Sheesh Zim. You can't just going around calling people intruders cause they look stupid." Zim grew frustrated.

"Yeah and what about his antenna? Is that part of you condition? Huh Dib?" Zim ask angrily. Dib kept his head down and his voice sorrowful.

"No..."

"You SEE-" He was cut off by Dib.

"I lost it in a HORRIBLE accident when I was younger." Every turned and started at Zim.

"Look what you did Zim. He's new and you're being mean." Said the girl from earlier. Zim let his frustration out in a loud yell, he knocked his chair and set down. Finally the teacher stopped his lecture after the loud boom of the chair hitting floor.

"ZIM!" Zim turned and saluted the older man. "Thats enough. If you keep yelling I will-" A chime went off and the teaches antenna lifted of his head. He glared back at Zim, "You live... for now." Zim gulped and ran out of the class, angry and defeated. Dib waited till everyone left and then followed them. He looked down at the weird schedule they had given him when he first arrived. It said he should be going to the cafeteria now. he had no idea where that was, but he followed the kids from hs class. Seems they were going to the same place. He entered a room full of tables, some filled with Irkens already eating. He went and stood in a line he supposed was for waiting for food. He stood silently, the other Irkens speaking and joking around with each other. Dib was amused; they were SO much just like school children and teens. When finally it was his turn for food, he got a tray full a delicious looking sweets. Really happy now, he went and sat at a table that had the least amount of people. He took a bite of the food.

"Ack!" He held his throat in silent suffering. Oh God! The food was so bitter! He went for his drink, he spit it out. It was salty! He gagged a couple times but forced himself to stop when some people began looking at him funny. He smiled shyly at them then put his head down, so much for food. He guessed he'd only be ever to eat at home were he still had some supplies. Dib looked back up, a pout on his face as he watched others eat. They seemed to be enjoying the food, he even heard someone say the food was sweeter today! Dib was sad and interested; so Irkens taste buds must be different than his. Cool.

"Hey _DIB_." Dib looked up at the Irken, it was the dude from his class. Zim, that was his name. Dib sat up straighter and smiled nervously at him.

"Uh, hi..." He rubbed the back of his head, feeling the new baldness of it. Zim just stared at him, glaring.

"I know you're an intruder." Zim hissed, sitting down in front of Dib. "I don't why you're here but I don't' care. I will get the others to believe me!" Dib look around at his table, everyone seemed to have had fled when Zim sat down. Zim kept talking, "Then when they do, we will destroy your home planet!" Zim stood up in victory, pointing a final finger at Dib, and then left the room in a sprint. Dib got up, leaving his tray. Still very shaky, Dib went back to his class. He would need to be careful with Zim around, the guy was kinda crazy but he was straight to the point. Dib shook his head, Zim seems to be the only one noticing; Irkens are strong but not very bright. Dib was upset, he was just trying to have a learning experience and Zim made it a little less fun ...

_**[-**__**]**_

Dib sat in his seat, the end of todays lesson would be soon and he could go back to the house-ship thingy. He looked around and accidentally made I contact with Zim. He quickly looked away. The little guy had been staring at him throughout the whole class after lunch. "Invade. Conquer. Destroy." The teacher droned on least time, then the bell chimed. Irkens all around Dib threw their papers in the air and began running out of the room, pushing and kicking each other just trying to get into the hallway. Dib decided the kicking looked painful and waited till everyone left, then he gathered his belonging and left.

Once outside the build Dib ran into Zim. The Irken scoffed pushed Dib away, "Watch where you're going Dib-Spy." Dib fell to the ground but quickly got back up.

"I'm not a spy." Dib yelped when Zim went to hit him, "What's your problem?" Dib yelled as he began to run away, toward his house. He ran faster when he saw Zim chasing him. "Leave me alone! I just want to go home!" Dib yelled frantically behind him.

"Not till I show everyone that your-" Zim was cut off because Dib ran into the road and he followed him. Sadly Dib got away because Zim almost got hit by vehicle. Dib kept running, he heard Zim yelling after him. God, the guy didn't give up! Running, Dib saw a familiar building, his house-ship! He was almost there, he took a chance and look behind. Zim was a few feet away and gaining. Dib took a deep breath and bolted for his door. He made it and slammed the door shut, and order the house-ship to lock up and put up defenses.

Zim ran after Dib but didn't stop when he ran into his house; Zim ran into the door with an "ompf!" He fell to the ground. He rubbed his now sore head and looked up at the blue door. Standing up with a growl Zim dusted himself off. He shook his fist at the door, "You're here for something and I don't like it! You're a spy, intruder or whatever! but I'll stop you and prove to everyone; we will below up you planet!" Zim ranted while Dib stood in the safety for his base. Zim said a couple more threats, Dib grew tired and hungry and was fed up with waiting for Zim to give up.

"Ship! Do something." Dib whined. The house sighed and did as she was told.  
Zim was still shaking his fist angrily when suddenly a robotic arm popped out from the side of the house. He looked at his in surprise and confusion. "Wha-?" it went at him so fast he had no time to react. It lifted him into the air and banged him into the ground once. Zim struggled in the robotic grip, feeling the bruise on his head form, "You think this will stop-" The arm interrupted him again when it lifted him high into the air and pulled back. Zim saw what was about to happen, "Wait no! You wouldn't!" His struggles increase. "I'll come back you know! You can't get rid-" The arm threw him, he went so far he was a speck in the sky. Dib had watched the whole thing from the window. He looked up at the ceiling of his house.

"Thanks..." The ship 'hmpfed' and Dib walked into the kitchen area. He grabbed a bag of chips and sat at the table. He ate for a while, thinking about the day he went through. It sure wasn't what he expected, and it sure as heck wasn't like a normal Earth skool day! Then he smiled, "I think today went well!" He said happily then continued eating his after school treat.

_**[-**__**]**_

**So second chapter! I got a review asking about Dib's eyes. And well I'm not sure what that person what asking, but I think it was about Dib's Irken disguises eye. Like Invader Zim from the show, I image Did had contacts. Sorry I didn't clear that up before, I thought it was kinda obvious. **


End file.
